I'm back.....

Long time no blogging - it is safe to say I have had a hectic few months hence the lack of posting but that is no excuse for my bad eating habits which have taken over again, so I have decided that I need to take control back and sort it out! 

So in the last few months since I posted the following has taken place:

• I have quit weight watchers - I really wasn't getting anywhere and I really didn't like the way I was feeling in respect of it, every time I put on a bit of weight I went off the rails and it was taking me a long time to get back on again, it was a cycle which wasn't doing my sanity any good at all!  So I decided to take a break from it, take the stress off, save some money which I seemed to be wasting on meetings and try to just eat healthy - I have joined My Fitness Pal so I can monitor and record what I eat and the cals, fat, etc and also record any exercise which I manage to do. 
• I had a major bad time at work and decided to start looking for another job - however while my attention was focused on looking for another job things took a turn for the better at work, a big project came my way (which I loved being part of) and the product is being launched in the next few weeks.  It has been stressful but in a good way and hopefully the next few months will continue to be busy in the same good way :o)  However, me and stress equals a lot of chocolate, and no matter what I do to try and stop myself eating it I still attack it.  I'm hoping my return to posting will help stop this.... fingers crossed!
• We moved!  We had a bad few months at the beginning of the year with our old landlady and it ended with her serving us notice, so we decided to move closer to Stew's work and have ended up in a lovely flat in Worcester Park, Surrey.  The move took place in August and the run up to it was stressful but we survived!  Its a major change from Catford (South East London), but a nice area and an easy commute for me to get to the City each day for work.  Plus its not too far away from my family (although its not a 5 minute walk anymore!)

So these are the major things which have happened to me during my break.  And although I have been trying to eat healthy for the last month or so I haven't lost any weight (but I also haven't put any on).  But with the work stress and the moving stress in June, July and August I did end up putting on around half a stone (last time I looked I was 12st 8lbs) - this is not good!!  So I am going to weigh myself tomorrow morning before work, record it on here and start recording my food diary as well in an attempt to keep me on track, make me accountable again and help me make some better choices with my food.  Thinking about it now, this week probably isn't the best of weeks as we have a busy weekend coming up but if I can stay on track for the main part of the week then that's a start!

WI - Wednesday 18th May 2011

Well this last week I seem to have done my fair amount of comfort eating which is not good.  Work is stressing me out big time and I think I may need to start looking for something else because I don't need these feeling following me around, not healthy for me physically or mentally.

Despite the comfort food I actually managed to loose half a pound at WI this week, this brings me down to 11st 10.5lbs so at least its going in the right direction :o)

Still sticking to the simply filling method as it seems to fit with my life at the moment and I must admit I have more energy (most of the time at least) which is great.  

Lets see what this week brings!

WI – Wednesday 9th March 2011

Well this is not a good result – 3lbs back on (over the course of 2 weeks) which brings me back to 12st – blergh!  I guess the good thing is I know why this has happened, a combination of overeating due to stress at work, eating more than usual during the day before WI and being due on this week which almost always leads me to retain water *sigh*

But the main factor – stress – is something I’m going to work on.  I had a long talk with Stew and my mum yesterday (not at the same time) about work and what was stressing me out and that really helped.  Plus I have made a decision that if things don’t improve over the next few months then I shall start looking for something else as to be honest this isn’t what I was lead to believe it would be.  Just making that decision has helped me and last night I actually slept better which means today I’m not as tired and therefore was able to resist the huge amount of cakes which were in the kitchen at work :o)

I’m off to a taster session of Tai Chi tonight with Stew, he has been going to the classes for just over a month and I really like the look of it.  Plus the taster session is free so that makes it even better!  In addition to this (if I decide to carry on after tonight) I think my Zumba, C25K and a few sessions of 30 Day Shred will be a nice combination of exercise and should hopefully mean I do not get bored! 

Speaking of 30 Day Shred – Oh My God!!  It is so tough, and to be honest I’m useless at push-ups and ab crunches, never been able to do them properly.  The rest of the level one workout though is good but difficult, I was really sweating at the end!  However I have not been able to do the continuous day after day which the DVD suggests you should do, I just can’t fit it in!  So I’m going to try and do it at least once a week at the weekends and try and build myself up to a second one during the week if I feel up to it :o) 

So in a nutshell, I’m feeling good about this week.  Only major event this week is my sisters birthday, we are heading out for Greek/Turkish type food – restaurant is called Mekan and the menu looks lush!  (Mekan Restaurant - Menu).  Still trying to decide what to have as my main course (we will be having mixed meze for starters), but I’m planning to have fruit and muesli for breakfast and stir fry for lunch so I should have plenty of points left for food, a few glasses of wine and possibly birthday cake – yummy!!

And just to share my moto for the week – ‘I hope to see less of you next week’ as said to me by my WW leader Karen – I have it on a post-it note on my desk at work to keep me going.

Self Sabotage...

Even though as I typed my last post I was sure I would leave my binge eating to one side but it didn't work out this way – and I think this morning I have worked out why.......

I knew I wasn't getting weighed this week so I lost all focus

So simple and straight forward but also slightly pathetic I feel. If I can't keep control for one week without getting weighed how am I going to cope when I finally get to goal and start maintenance?! Guess that's a bridge I need to cross when I get there (to be honest focusing on getting to goal is hard enough!).

So, last week I get an email from some of the girls I worked with at my old job and the only night we could all make was Wednesday (last night). At the time I thought “I'll be fine, I usually have a treat after WI anyway so this will just be the same just without the WW meeting first”. Then work stress lead me to have chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate and I just lost it (and my skin is showing me why I cannot eat like this long term, an outbreak of spots is not nice and can snap a girl out of it!) Turns out our meal out last night was very mellow and between the 4 of us we only had 2 jugs of sangria and loads of food left over (We had a set menu, forgot it came with paella as it turned up 15 mins after the other food so I even took most of the paella home with me for Stew to have for his lunch today as it seemed such a waste to leave it!).

All in all today is my first day back on plan. I feel focused, I feel motivated and I also have today and tomorrow off work (new bed and exercise bike being delivered today – woop) which means I will not be tempted to have any sweets, cakes or biscuits which may appear in the office kitchen over the next few days!

As well as the exercise bike (which is actually Stew's but I'm going to try and steal it a few times a week!) my copy of '30 day shred' turned up yesterday – I have seen so many people rave about this on the WW message boards that I just have to give it a go. Usually I'm not a fitness DVD kind of girl but I do love Jillian on The Biggest Loser USA and 20 mins a day can't be that difficult..... watch this space!